The Animal House

I am not an animal person. I am not a pet person. To be honest, sometimes after I meet someone and know I will be leaving their house covered in animal fur, I don't go back. I'm just not into it.

We have been (unsuccessfully) trying to sell our home now for the last six months. The kids have asked us many times for a puppy. We have told them no many times. Then I went ahead and told them that they could get a puppy in the new house.

The twins started telling their friends that we see weekly that they have a dog whose name is Max. Max will live at the new house. They told people this as if they already had the dog.

My friend had been hearing about Max our imaginary new house dog. She went to drop off her son at daycare and the daycare had a dog they were trying to get rid of. If they were unable to pawn the dog off on someone they would be taking him to the pound. My friend took him home and then sent me a text saying that she thinks she found Max.

The twins and I went to check him out. He was cute and fluffy and small. His hair is long so he wouldn't shed. Small dogs, small food, small poop, no shedding, and free.

I said we would take him home for the night.

We walked in the door followed by the dog. Hubby said, "what the Hell is this woman?" I said we were just watching him for the night and would give him back.

I couldn't. He wasn't wild, he didn't bark a ton, he slept all night and again, small poop no dog hair. This was a score I couldn't let go. Meet Max the dog, our family pet. The kids are all so in love, it's worth it.

Less than a month later, we received two fish bowls, one for each of the twins.

Meet Ocean's fish Max. This is Max the fish, not Max the dog, they are different (those are his words).

Meet Blueberry, Ever's fish. This is actually Blueberry #2 as Blueberry the Original made her final trip of life down the toilet. We had noticed Blueberry the Original floating in the bowl, got rid of it and crossed our fingers her absence would not be noticed. That afternoon I heard the stool getting moved to the counter where the fish are. I heard a sweet little Peanut voice "hmmm, I don't see my fish in there." Ocean, "maybe he's hiding." Peanut, "I wonder where the fish went." Me to myself "Please dear Lord, do not let her ask me where the fish is. I am a terrible liar and I am not ready for the death talk." Peanut,"Daddy prolly took him out and forgot to put him back in." Me to myself, "Thank you Jesus for the small miracles that allow me to shirk my duties as a parent, Amen."

So we went from no pets NEVER EVER EVER, to three pets.

Ocean asked if we could get a pet lizard in the new house.

NO. Probably not. Maybe.